Hafemeyer Law

Holidays and Divorce

The holiday season can be stressful, even more so if it is the first holiday after a divorce. Spending time with family can make for awkward situations for the newly divorced and their families.

Often times, many of these awkward situations can be tempered with conversation. If you are dreading the questions regarding the break up, discuss this ahead of time with family members. Let them know your feelings about the situation and how you would like it handled. This will allow family members to not feel awkward about discussing the situation or bringing it up accidentally based on your feelings.

Spend some time discussing the changes with children as well. Children may not voice their concerns about what is going to happen over the holidays, but most often these concerns can make them unhappy. Discussing the details of where they will be spending the holidays can help them voice their sadness and anxiety over which parent they will be spending the holidays with and whether or not they will get to see their cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

One idea is to post a calendar with the month’s upcoming schedule so they can look ahead to what day they will be spending with each side of the extended family. Another idea would be to try to continue some of the old traditions that they have always done in the past, but maybe start a new tradition to ease the tension and to make the holiday’s special.

Holidays after any loss may seem daunting to navigate and enjoy, but preparing yourself and others and planning ahead can make a stressful season more enjoyable and memorable for the children.

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